Posts (page 3)
I recently bought the "Ultimate" collection, which gathers all five books in the trilogy plus a short story. I read it a couple months ago and I still love it. And now I'm reading it once again.
I do like the humor. But there's another feature of these books that I love: I just want to hang out with these people. So I keep reading it. Being around interesting people makes me feel good.
A few years ago at work a friend of mine was trying to tell me about something big happening in the corporate structure. He was using names and I had to keep stopping him and asking "Who is that?" The answer would always be that this was a director or vice president or whatever.
He finally got frustrated and said "You know the name of every store clerk and waitress within four blocks of here and you don't know the names of the people running the company you work for!"
My goal is to be around--as much as possible--whoever's got "the spark," as much as possible. They could be VPs or directors or janitors or waiters or waitresses or people asking for money on the street. I could agree with their viewpoints or disagree. If you are on fire about something, I want to be around you.
They say one has to "warm the pen"
But that's not really true
The ink will flow with passionate flame
If only I listen to you
How can I, with impoverished words
Capture the beauty which lies within?
With what aching stride, what longing ears
Can I sing the song my inner self hears?
The clouds, like ice floes, drift apart
Letting the sunshine warm my heart
The trees like dancing children sway
Inviting me to dance today
Along the Big Two Hearted River
Through the burnt-out fields I roam
Ahead of me lies hope and danger
Yet nothing behind can I call home
Step by step I cover the miles
The sun lays to rest in a reddened sky
I have no map for the treasure I seek
Beauty herself is my only guide
Trembling with a forest breeze
Upon a moth's white powdered wings
I look upon a misty lake
While stars, aloof, their anthems sing
Padding through the blanket of green
Duckweed's soft enveloping caress
The moon's bright children dance and run
Laughing with brilliant tenderness
My eyes are drawn to the distant shore
Beyond the craggy, whispering bend
Along the path that rises there
My evening's journey will find its end
Bob Dylan hadn't set out to write songs. He played folk songs written by others until new songs just came out of him.
Tolkein absorbed epic poems and tales and wrote his own version of them.
Soak up the real, pure water--movies and stories themselves. Never mind "the rules"--theories applied to existing art but not used to create that art.
Soak it up until your own story bursts out.
About three years ago I had the idea of hiring myself out as a lyricist. I put some feelers out and ended up getting a short piece of music from a guy in New York who was managing two twin sister singers. I took the music with me everywhere and listened to it and soaked in it. Then, one day, as I sat in a McDonalds, I felt a flash of inspiration and wrote down the entire song.
A friend of mine who runs a studio recorded it for me and I submitted it but in the end the manager decided the song was not right for the singers.
I will share it with you, my Loyal Readers:
THE FLIGHT OF THE SWAN
[Spoken]
I stood there and I wondered
As I watched your taillights fade away in the rain
All these things you've said to me
Could it all be a game?
Our love will grow if we take our time
But first I've gotta know
If you can read the signs...
[Sung]
I thought I knew you
When I saw you
But I didn't think to ask you
If you knew yourself
First you kiss me
Then you dis' me
Now I'm hearin' that you're gonna put me
On a shelf
Yeah I want to be your baby
And I know that I am crazy
Read between the lines
If you feel it
Then reveal it
Cause I know that if you're real about it
You'd see the signs
[Chorus]
You can tell the winter by the flight of the swan
You can feel the summer by the height of the sun
So when will you begin to see that I'm the right one
For you?
Well it appears
That all my tears
Are gonna saturate my years
Until you make up your mind
But I know
Our love can grow
And you can make me free although
You've got to read those signs
You can tell the winter by the flight of the swan
You can feel the summer by the height of the sun
So when will you begin to see that I'm the right one
For you?
Don't tell me I didn't do it just right
Don't destroy the candle just to put out the light
I'm waiting for you baby but I can't wait all night
It's up to you...
You can tell the winter by the flight of the swan
You can feel the summer by the height of the sun
So when will you begin to see that I'm the right one
For you?
Copyright (c) 2005 The Doug
Abraham Lincoln on the Civil War:
"The will of God prevails. In great contests each party claims to act in accordance with the will of God. Both may be--and one must be--wrong. God cannot be for and against the same thing at the same time. In the present civil war it is quite possible that God's purpose is something different from the purpose of either party--and yet the human instrumentalities, working just as they do, are of the best adaptation to effect his purpose.
"I am almost ready to say this is probably true: that God wills this contest, and wills that it shall not end yet. By His mere quiet power, on the minds of the now contestants, He could have either saved or destroyed the Union without a human contest. Yet the contest began. And having begun He could give the final victory to either side any day. Yet the contest proceeds."
I am learning something new this week. Sometimes it's about the contest. Sometimes the best way to work out a situation is to work it out.
In the recent years of my life I've tried to avoid conflict. But now I think it's not helping anything. The conflict gets internalized and battles its way inside my head, until I'm frustrated with the whole thing. What is this fear I have? Of letting people down. Of upsetting people. Of hurting people. Yet it can still all happen. You can't avoid this.
It's best to be honest. To be direct. If I'm going to let people down, then let them down by being myself. Upset them when they understand my true intent. Hurt as part of the contest that must exist. I can't keep hurting myself, putting my dreams and desires in the back to avoid the pain others might feel. That's part of their contest as well.
The other day I got on the elevator at work and heard a conversation. "The food in the cafeteria is ok," said the first guy. "The cafeteria sucks. It's too expensive." said the other one. "I don't want to pay six dollars for a breakfast sandwich."
Now, this was an exaggeration. I had a four-dollar omelet in a takeout box with me at the time. The conversation frustrated me. I'm glad we have a cafeteria at all. I figure you can always go out and get whatever else you want, but if you don't feel like going out, it's ok to pay a little extra for the convenience.
But the big thought that hit me was this: what is something worth? If the elevator were to break down right now, my omelet would suddenly be worth more than four dollars. Eight hours later...who knows what it might be worth?
I watched this movie a few weeks ago and was spellbound by the cinematography, the characters, and the dialog. I hated the ending. Couldn't believe it ended when it did.
I'm in a strange cycle with Coen brothers films. Whichever one I see on the big screen I haven't liked that much...so I get the next one on DVD, turn out to love it, and say to myself “You need to see these on the big screen when they come out!” I think my motivation (and end result) for Grindhouse was the same. Note to self: if you see a movie by a great director and don't like it, make sure you DO see the next movie in the theater.
Anyway.
Two things changed my mind after I left the theater.
One is that I kept thinking back to a scene that happened in a small gas station in Texas. I won't spoil it here, except to say that it is so powerful, and so filled with the balance of life and death, that I have hardly been able to get it out of my mind since seeing it.
Secondly, I read a review of the movie which explained a little better what the theme was. I was so fascinated by that that I've bought the book and am about a third of the way through it.
I may have to watch this one more time. I'll tell ya...it's worth it for the cinematography and the pacing if nothing else.
Laying in bed this morning, the chorus flashed into my mind. By the time the computer booted, I had a verse.
Little Betty Lou was feelin kinda blue and she din't know what to do last night
She couldn't stay at home so she called me on the phone and said "Boy I gotta get out tonight"
So I said
Hey you wanna go where we go when we go where we go when we go tonight?
Hey you wanna do what we do when do what we do when we do tonight?
Hey you wanna play what we play when we play what we play when we play tonight?
And it'll be alright
And it'll be alright
"What would you do if you had a million dollars?"
Good question.
A better question:
"What does you heart tell you you MUST do, regardless of your circumstances?"
I am alive.
Every day is a gift.
My guide is my heart, which burns with passion. Resolutions recoil before it and commitments collapse.
Life is gooooooooood.
