6 posts tagged “projects”

I just signed up for an account on eLance.

I have tons of projects in my head.  I'm going to get some of them going.  Anything I can't do right now, either because of talent, or time, or both, or whatever...I'm going to outsource.

This will be fun.  I will choose my first project tomorrow.  How cool, to spec out a project and let somebody else build it.  I used to feel I had to do everything...now I'm very excited about finding talented, passionate people who enjoy working on projects.

It also makes me focus on how much I believe in a particular project.  Is it worth spending some money on?

Done with the introspection.
Let's go.

Make a master project list.
One folder for each project.
Do the projects because they need to be done.
Find the beauty and bring it out.
Follow your heart.

For the last few days I've been suffering from a cold.  One of the symptoms is that I am very tired.  I spent most of yesterday afternoon on the couch, alternating between watching a movie and dozing.

And I noticed something interesting.

About the whole time I was laying on the couch, I had a voice inside my head saying: "You should be doing something."

"You should be doing something"
"You should be doing something"
"You should be doing something"

I'm starting to notice this voice more and more as I cut down on my commitments and find myself with free time here and there (a new situation for me...).

I do really enjoy working on projects and side projects but I'm determined to ignore this voice until I feel that I want to work on a particular project.  I'm not thrilled about this word "should" and I'd kind of like to know in whose opinion I "should" be doing this "something."  I think it is far from this calm center that I am convinced I have deep down in there somewhere.

And actually, I was doing something.  I was soaking in a very beautiful movie (Michelangelo Antonioni's L'avventura).  There was a time that I didn't need to justify to myself the enjoyment of art and beauty.  I wonder what's changed....

I've been steadily reducing my commitments to things, especially those that I was doing because I felt I "should," and those that have lost their flavor for me, regardless of motivations going in.

I've been examining my motivations for doing all of the things I try to do at once and starting to feel that I've done all the examination I need to do for now.

As I open up my life more and more....now things are starting to happen...somebody that I haven't talked to in months called me today and asked if I would be interested in helping her produce a demo CD of her songs.  I will take that incident as the official kickoff of going with the flow of life (and ending this round of self-reflection)...

(BTW, I asked her to ask me again in a month...no diving into commitments until I let this next phase "happen")

I'm going to continue the (mostly mental) analysis I've been doing but I am becoming aware that an answer is beginning to well up in my heart.  So...I will spend a few more days in my introspection but then I'll turn it over to my heart and let it give me the answer in its own time.

So, I've outlined my negatives of focusing on only one thing.  Most of them looked like fears to me, and I'm betting that most of those fears are unfounded.  But it was nice to let them out.

Now for the positives of focusing on one project at a time:

• all my creative energy gets channeled into one area...this should result in higher returns
• it frees me up to "work when I'm working, relax when I'm relaxing."  I don't always have to feel like "I should be doing something else"
  
• more time on that activity means more improvement of my talent level
• more likely to find my "voice."  You can get good at something but to find your unique voice takes a commitment beyond just "working at it"
• I feel less confused about what I should be doing
• I feel less "scattered."  Five years ago this wouldn't have meant anything because I could work on lots of different things without feeling any problems.  But life changes, and now I feel that there is too much going on.
  

These positives are pretty powerful.  I especially like the part about finding my "voice" in whatever it is I'm doing.

I am into everything.  I've got tons of projects in various states of completion: websites, music projects, music practice, fiction writing, nonfiction writing, an art festival I want to run next spring, a HAM radio project I would like to kick off, languages (living and dead) that I would love to learn, and more.

Given that I have MAYBE five hours a week to put into passions like this....something has to go.

I've talked about minimalism of possessions.  What about minimalism of activities?  Minimalism of targets of passion?

Even this list of ten or so projects is a reduction for me.  Thinking about reducing it to three...two...one?...is painful for me.  I've made a quick list of my fears of focusing on one project or hobby:

• what if it doesn't carry all the rewards I'm seeking?
• what if I can't do it as well as I like?
• what if I would have been amazing at something that I dropped?
• what if I get bored with it?
• what happens to the other ideas I have? Do they die?
  

and, of course...

• WHAT IF I PUT ALL THAT EFFORT INTO IT AND I'M STILL NO GOOD AT IT??